If you’re struggling to deal with a boys’ club at work, this article is for you. Read on for practical advice that can help you break free from its shackles.
A reader writes:
Dear Jane,
I find myself in a workplace dominated by a boys’ club culture. It’s frustrating to constantly feel excluded and overlooked because of my gender. It’s disheartening to encounter this dynamic, where certain individuals within the organization form an exclusive, often informal network that seems to hinder my professional progress.
I’ve encountered several instances where I’ve felt that I’m in a never-ending game of “King of the Hill” with my male colleagues. For instance, during team meetings, there have been occasions when my ideas were dismissed or not given the same consideration as those proposed by my male colleagues. I’m not the only one, a few of my female colleagues have faced even worse:
- They were not invited to join the men’s happy hour.
- Their ideas were dismissed or ignored in meetings.
- They were asked to take on the administrative tasks that are traditionally assigned to women, such as taking notes or ordering food.
- They were the target of sexist jokes or comments.
- They were passed over for a promotion or raise that they deserved.
It was also evident that some decisions and opportunities were discussed informally within this boys’ club at work, leaving me out of the loop and feeling marginalized. In addition, social gatherings and after-work events often serve as breeding grounds for these exclusive circles, where networking opportunities and crucial conversations take place that I’m excluded from.
How can I navigate this sexist environment and make my voice heard? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Frustrated in the Boys’ Club
Jane’s Response:
Dear Frustrated in the Boys’ Club,
Ah, the infamous boys’ club at work, a relic of the past that seems to persist in the present. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re facing such a challenging situation at work. Dealing with a boys’ club culture can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening. Here are some steps you can take to navigate this environment and make your voice heard:
Document everything: Keep a record of any incidents of discrimination, harassment, or unfair treatment. This will be important if you decide to take legal action or file a complaint with your employer.
Build alliances: To challenge the boys’ club, you need a strong support system. Seek out like-minded colleagues who share your frustrations and work together to amplify each other’s voices. Forming alliances is a powerful way to combat the exclusivity of the boys’ club and create a more inclusive work environment.
You can also take the lead of organizing a team event. E.g. Invite your colleagues, regardless of their gender, for bowling, happy hour, lunch, or coffee. You don’t need to learn to play golf to be a part of this club. Organize more get-togethers so everyone can socialize and build relationships at work. This is one concrete step you can teach to marginalized groups within the company.
Speak up confidently: Confidence is key when dealing with a boys’ club. Speak up in meetings, share your ideas, and don’t let yourself be overshadowed. Remember, your voice is just as valuable as anyone else’s. Embrace your expertise, showcase your skills, and leave no doubt about your capabilities. The next time a member of the boys’ club dismisses your idea during a meeting, assertively address the situation by saying, “I couldn’t help but notice that my idea was challenged in the meeting. Could you please explain your concerns?”
Talk to your manager: Rome wasn’t built in a day, but dismantling a boys’ club doesn’t have to take time and perseverance. This problem cannot go unaddressed until you’ve spoken to your manager about the boys’ club culture in your workplace. They may not be aware of the problem and they can help to address it.
File a complaint: If you have been the victim of discrimination or harassment, you can file a complaint with your employer’s HR department. This is a serious step, but it may be necessary to take if you are not getting the support you need from your manager.
If all else fails…
Seek legal help: If you have exhausted all other options and you are still being discriminated against, you may need to seek legal help. A lawyer can help you file a lawsuit against your employer. Navigating a sexist workplace can be challenging, but it is important to remember that you have rights. You should not have to tolerate discrimination. If you are feeling excluded or overlooked, take action to address the problem.
Actions speak louder than words, especially when faced with a boys’ club. Concentrate on delivering exceptional results in your work. Showcasing your competence and achievements will help break down any prejudices and challenge the stereotypes perpetuated by the boys’ club. Let your accomplishments be the ammunition that dismantles their walls.
Yours in solidarity,
Jane
Disclaimer: The advice provided in this article is for informational purposes only. Always assess your specific situation and consult with professionals if needed.