Let’s Investigate: Signs of a Passive-Aggressive Person at Work

It is often much easier to deal with an openly hostile coworker than to try and interpret the signs of a passive-aggressive person. Aggressive behavior in the workplace is very evident and, because of its overt nature, becomes a little easier to escalate to superiors and address as well. On the other hand, the traits of a passive-aggressive person are usually more subtle, and you might often start to wonder if the person is being difficult or you’re a little too much on edge. Let’s explore the signs of a passive-aggressive person and understand how to deal with a passive-aggressive coworker as well.

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Signs of a Passive-Aggressive Person at Work

Passive-aggressive behavior is never pleasant to deal with. It can make work that is already tiring downright impossible to get through. Whether it is through frequent snide remarks or constant interference in your work process, passive-aggressive coworkers can ruin your mood, yes, but also affect the quality of the work you put out.

The mental Olympic battles you might have to fight can keep you distracted from work constantly. Especially when it is only directed towards you, it can also become harder to find a solution as most people might not realize what you’re uncomfortable with. Signs of a passive-aggressive person are often dismissed as nothing, and if you insist on figuring out how to deal with the passive-aggressive co-worker, you will often be told to “ignore it and focus on your work.” Hearing this can make you further doubt your assessment of the traits of a passive-aggressive person, and confuse you. 

Exploring Passive-Aggressive Behavior in the Workplace

Employer News reported the results of studies that indicated that passive-aggressive coworkers were the cause of 39 percent of resignations in 2021. 43 percent of the respondents found such behavior resulted in a toxic work environment while 38 percent found it to decrease productivity. In terms of the behaviors and traits of a passive-aggressive person, they found sarcasm to be the most difficult to bear, along with talking behind coworker’s backs, eye-rolling, and sending “friendly reminders.” Just reading these out loud might be enough to make you grit your teeth.

Another study by Preply found that 83 percent of Americans have had to deal with receiving passive-aggressive emails. With so many platforms of communication, the forms of such behavior have also clearly evolved. Some of these cases might genuinely be unintentional—a result of what one person considers innocent and another passive-aggressive. The Preply study held that “Per my last email” was seen as the worst phrase to include in your emails. Unless you were aware of this particular statistic, you might have been liberal in using it to refer to your previous communications, however, it might be time to switch to something else now. This is why it is important to stay up-to-date with the latest studies and be clear in understanding the traits of a passive-aggressive person.

1. They Bring Down the Mood of the Team Frequently

One of the primary traits of passive-aggressive coworkers is their desire to be a Debbie Downer when everyone is celebrating something. They might look at good performance numbers and remind everyone that it could have been better if a coworker hadn’t taken time off, or arrive at an office event and downplay every aspect of it. These behaviors might just be a negative outlook on things but they don’t often appear disappointed. Instead, there is a certain enjoyment in pointing out unnecessary aspects that aren’t immediately resolvable. 

A lot of employees might have had their great performance runs only to have a coworker tell them it was a good performance “for a newbie” or “for a woman.” Such dismissive remarks and backhanded compliments can be very hurtful and unnecessary within a workplace. They are often seen comparing situations and keeping a score of when something did or did not happen and often bring these things up whenever they can. 

2. They Avoid Working on Problems: Signs of a Passive-Aggressive Person

Among the traits of a passive-aggressive person, this one stands out as one of the most damaging when it comes to making progress at work. Passive-aggressive coworkers are often reluctant to directly confront a problem. They often remain silent during discussions when asked for their opinions, but later bring up concerns to delay work. Whether a company-wide policy for change or a team meeting, their contributions to the mood are often to discourage it without any attempt at finding a solution. 

When displeased, they are rarely forthcoming about what has upset them, choosing instead to ignore emails, leave work incomplete instead of asking questions, and do a lot of eye-rolling when the matter is directly addressed—the silent treatment is often in stark contrast to their more chatty nature when it comes to other matters. It can be very difficult to understand what the issue is as a result. 

3. They Do Not Communicate Directly

Usually, signs of a passive-aggressive person are evident in how they choose to communicate with you. Many have seen their share of passive-aggressive reminder emails and sticky notes left at your desk. This might be a genuine communication choice for someone who is shy about communicating, but the tone in their notes and emails is noticeably different. 

Passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace is often indicated through overly frequent “friendly reminders”, lack of pleasantries, gossiping behind coworkers’ backs, making unilateral decisions, and ignoring your role in projects as well. There is also the tendency to refrain from sharing information when necessary, interfering with work progress indirectly. When questioned, the response is often to mention that they weren’t explicitly asked about it. Their communication can take on many forms, often non-verbal signs and head shakes at their disappointment. They also weaponize sarcasm and use it to a point where it stops being fun. Again, they often convey the feeling that they have a better grasp of the situation than you do.

4. They Have an Intrusive Nature

Passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace is often displayed by colleagues who always like to know what is going on in the office in order to share their own personal opinions. Everyone falls prey to office drama quite easily, but people with passive-aggressive traits often bring these issues up openly, even when the situation doesn’t call for it. From referencing an argument to bringing up how someone was yelled at by their manager, these individuals usually manage to use what they have against their coworkers.

This is sometimes done as a joke, under the pretense of making light of a situation, even though the issue is too fresh to be treated so lightly. 

5. They Are Resistant to Feedback

Another common sign of a passive-aggressive person at work is a person who displays the above traits as well as avoidance of feedback. They do not like to be questioned about their work and are often defensive instead of being open to feedback. Again, it is natural to feel cornered when questioned about your work, but those with the traits of a passive-aggressive person are never able to admit to a mistake or accept an area of improvement. They are often likely to shift the blame to someone else or make comparisons to question why only their behavior has been pointed out. 

They always see themselves as the victim of a situation and reframe the narrative to point out how they are being unfairly treated, even when data suggest they have made an error. Manipulative behaviors are not always easy to spot but they are quite frequently present. In case they do comply with feedback, they are often reluctant and treat it more as a favor to you rather than a part of their responsibilities.

How to Deal With A Passive-Aggressive Coworker

If these consolidated traits remind you of someone at work or someone you have encountered in the past, then you’re not alone in feeling confused about how to deal with the passive-aggressive coworker. Here are some things you can keep in mind to simplify the process:

• Stay calm and maintain your composure—getting emotional or aggressive can only work in their favor
• Encourage open communication and express your desire to understand what they feel about a situation
• Encourage them to approach you directly and be frank about their concerns so you can help resolve them immediately
• Ask questions and seek clarification. In situations like the email phrasing we mentioned earlier, the intention might not have been passive-aggression
• Psychologists often recommend the use of “I” statements during conflict resolution—say “I feel like…” instead of “It’s because you are…” to avoid sounding accusatory
• Communicate your boundaries and ask them for their own limits to set mutual lines on what is and isn’t acceptable for both of you
• Be constructive with your feedback—explore how you could both approach a situation differently and what they would like done differently as well
• Encourage team-building initiatives in your team as a whole, and try to create a culture of feedback
• Ensure the passive-aggressive individual doesn’t get singled out for feedback
• Gather data from situations where you feel there has been passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace, so it can become easier to seek clarification about the same
• If they are completely unwilling to resolve the issues with you, you might have to involve a third party. Let them know of your intention to reach out to a coworker, manager, or HR team member to mediate the conversation
• Do not escalate the situation in haste—if the behavior is a recent development it might be due to personal situations. Try to resolve it through open communication and escalate if this fails
• You can speak to your HR department on how to deal with a passive-aggressive coworker without directly mentioning the individual. If they have any resources that can be of assistance, make the most of them
• Be confident and stand firm in your role. It can be difficult to stay resilient in the face of passive-aggressive behavior but it is helpful
• Reach out to your support systems, Employee Resource Groups (ERGs), mentors, etc. for support and advice. Prioritizing your well-being is essential
• If the passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace extends to the work culture of your organization as a whole, the company might not be the right fit for you

There are many signs of a passive-aggressive person that you might be able to think of as well, but being ready with these strategies is essential in any case. Even if the person is not inherently passive-aggressive, airing things out and having an honest conversation when you have your doubts can be better than your own resentment building up towards them. Consider carefully, and plan how you want to deal with a passive-aggressive co-worker in your workplace.